Welcome! You have accidentally reached the blog of a heteroclite follower of Jesus: dave wainscott. I'm
"pushing toward the unobvious" as I post thinkings/linkings
re: Scripture, church and culture. Hot topics include: temple tantrums, time travel, sexuality/spirituality, U2kklesia, role of the pastor, God-haunted music/art..and subversive videos like these.
My seminary classmate Steve Heyduck's blog post really is a helpful conversation starter.
Let me quote it, and then we can start the conversation (either here, or on his blog--giving his great blog some PR).
I will tell you a story after Steve's post. I'll address my comments to Steve, but they are for all of you.
“You didn’t begin your sermon with the reading of the scripture text. You are always supposed to read the scripture as the beginning of your sermon.”
This is a very close approximation to something a colleague of mine was told recently. This colleague is soon to go before the Board of Ordained Ministry for commissioning – a major step towards ordination.
Part of the qualifying process is submission of a sermon – both manuscript and video recording.
My colleague asked for my insights as to whether such a particularity could, in fact, derail his quest.
I shared that I cannot remember the last time I read the scripture text as the beginning of my sermon.
For me, anyway, this rarely if ever happens in part because our liturgist reads one of our texts immediately before I stand to preach. Re-reading the scripture myself would give in to the notion that preaching is not really a part of the worship service as a whole, but rather a stand-alone event thrown into the midst of a worship service.
I encouraged my colleague to continue to preach the Word, and to preach the text for the service, whether or not that scripture text was written into the sermon.
A much larger concern for me is that someone would suggest so simple a component done differently would disqualify a sermon altogether. What I think really happened was an incident of either
“You didn’t preach the way I was taught to preach” or
“You didn’t preach the way I like to hear someone preach.
Are there specific mechanics that you believe are absolutely essential to the successful preaching of a sermon? Do Jesus’ and Peter’s and Paul’s preaching always follow your rules? link
--
Steve:
Fantastic post.
It triggered a memory I had buried.
Once, a parishoner took me out to lunch. You know how that is: you never know if there is an agenda. Sometimes taking you to lunch is taking you to the woodshed. (:
He cut to the chase:
"I have noticed that sometimes you open a sermon with a story, and THEN you pray."
This of course implied that everyone knows the "correct" way is to pray at the very outset, and THEN start preaching.
I assured him that yes, I had actually done this on purpose.
He was stunned.
I have always varied it a little. Or a lot.
In fact, if the transcript is accurate, here is one I preached without an official prayer (gasp!)
Sometimes I have read the Scripture pretty late in the game. Might that sometimes be more biblical?
I wonder what my well-meaning parishoner would think of Jesus' sermons ...or ANY sermons in the Bible. I can't think of any that started with a prayer...OR the text!
I remember a college professor, Al Dueck, once suggested that you could wait until the very end to even reveal what Scriptural text you were preaching on. I was intrigued. I will tag him on Facebook to see if he remembers saying that, or has examples of doing it.
Steve, did you ever have a class at Asbury Seminary with Ralph Lewis on "inductive preaching"? Poor guy was called a heretic by some just because he believed you could save your Scripture reading for mid-sermon!
BTW, I love how you prayed in this sermon below.
But..heresy alert, you actually spoke for a minute before you prayed! (:
Thanks to Mark DeRaud for the tip on the post below by JD Walt. Of course, I have taught that according to Joel 2/Acts 2, the last days began at Pentecost.
Peter preaches, and says "What you see is the following; "In the last days....I will pour out my Spirit.."
14 Then Peter stepped forward with the eleven other apostles and shouted to the crowd, “Listen carefully, all of you, fellow Jews and residents of Jerusalem! Make no mistake about this.15 These people are not drunk, as some of you are assuming. Nine o’clock in the morning is much too early for that.16 No, what you see was predicted long ago by the prophet Joel:
17 ‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. 18 In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on my servants—men and women alike— and they will prophesy. 19 And I will cause wonders in the heavens above and signs on the earth below— blood and fire and clouds of smoke. 20 The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red before that great and glorious day of the Lord arrives. 21 But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’[c]
-- But Mark's comment (based on the Walt post) pushes a huge envelope: "The last days ended with Pentecost." -Mark DeRaud. What do you think? This raises the question about whether verses 19-20 have happened yet? Of course, the party line is that the sun darkening and the red moon are signs of the "end of the end, "and they obviously haven't happened yet. Yet many including NT Wright make the case that this was a symbolic way of speaking of the events of AD 70: destruction of the temple. (see what Wright does with the Isiaah 13:10 sun and moon signs here. See also a couple posts by Kirk
I was talking with a well-meaning leader just the other the other day who began discounting my outlook. He said, "J.D., your view is preposterous. Don't you notice how terrible things really are? Don't you know what the Bible says? 'There will be terrible times in the last days'" (2 Timothy 3:1).
Another man suggested that I was a "scoffer." He said, "Don't you know what Jude, the half-brother of Jesus declared, 'In the last times scoffers will arise who will follow their own ungodly desires' (Jude 1:18). If you don't see things getting worse, you're nothing more than a scoffer - rejecting the Word of God."
Many insist that the Bible foretells disaster and trouble - particularly as we descend into the "last days." They're convinced that, in the grand biblical narrative, cataclysm and destruction are imminent. It seems that there can be no goodness or hope in "perilous times." This kind of worldview is understandable. A superficial reading of the New Testament would suggest the reality that they're asserting. However, things are not always as they appear.
The term "last days" is arguably one of the more misunderstood phrases in the Bible. It is not talking about the end of the world, but the end of the “old covenant” era.
Rather than referring to the destruction of the earth, it is a depiction of the end of the temple, animal sacrifices, and Levitical priesthood. It spoke of the unrest and volatility that would be found at the cessation of a religious order that was, at best, temporal in nature (Hebrews 6:20-8:13).
It might surprise many to hear this, but the writer of Hebrews affirms that the last days were in his lifetime. He declares that the revelation was being received, "in these last days" (Hebrews 1:2). Elaborating on what this meant, he goes on to declare that "Jesus has now obtained a more superior ministry, since the covenant he mediates is founded on better promises" (Hebrews 8:6). The “Last-Days” or “End of the age” is really about the tumultuous transition to the New Covenant order. It is the end of what was and the beginning of something new! It was never meant to be used as an excuse to sidetrack the good news of the gospel. link
"The poor man," we say. "He's so devoted to his flock: the work is endless, and he sacrifices himself so unstintingly." But the Word busy is the symptom not of commitment but of betrayal. It is not devotion but defection. The adjective busy set as a modifier to pastor should sound to our ears like adulterous to characterize a wife or embezzling to describe a banker. It is an outrageous scandal, a blasphemous affront." pg 17
"I am busy because I am vain. I want to appear important. Significant. What better way than to be busy? The incredible hours, the crowded schedule, and heavy demands on my time are proof to myself-and to all who will notice- that I am important." pg 18
"I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. I let people who do not understand the work of the pastor write the agenda for my day's work because I am too slipshod to write it myself. The pastor is a shadow figure in these people's minds, a marginal person vaguely connected with matters of God and good will. Anything remotely religious of somehow well-intentioned can be properly assigned to the pastor." pg 18
==
Peterson expands, in an article, ":The Unbusy Pastor"
The one piece of mail certain to go unread into my wastebasket is the one addressed to the busy pastor. Not that the phrase doesn't describe me at times, but I refuse to give my attention to someone who encourages what is worst in me.
I'm not arguing the accuracy of the adjective; I am, though, contesting the way in which it is used to flatter and express sympathy. "The poor man," we say. "He's so devoted to his flock; the work is endless and he sacrifices himself so unstintingly." But the word busy is the symptom not of commitment but of betrayal. It is not devotion but defection. The adjective busy set as a modifier to pastor should sound to our ears like adulterous to characterize a wife, or embezzling to describe a banker. It is an outrageous scandal, a blasphemous affront. Hilary of Tours diagnosed our pastoral busyness as "irreligiosa solicitudo pro Deo," a blasphemous anxiety to do God's work for him.
I (and most pastors, I believe) become busy for two reasons; both reasons are ignoble.
I am busy because I am vain. I want to appear important. Significant. What better way than to be busy? The incredible hours, the crowded schedule, and the heavy demands on my time are proof to myself-and to all who will notice-that I am important If I go into a doctor's office and find there's no one waiting, and see through a half-open door the doctor reading a book, I wonder if he's any good. A good doctor will have people lined up waiting to see him; a good doctor will not have time to read a book, even if it's a very good book. Although I grumble about waiting my turn in a busy doctor's office, I am also impressed with his importance.
Such experiences affect me. I live in a society in which crowded schedules and harassed conditions are evidence of importance. I want to be important, so I develop a crowded schedule and harassed conditions. When others notice, they acknowledge my significance and my vanity is fed. The busier I am, the more important I am.
The other reason I become busy is that I am lazy. I indolently let other people decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. I let people who do not understand the work of the pastor write the agenda for my day's work because I am too slipshod to write it myself. But these people don't know what a pastor is supposed to do. The pastor is a shadow figure in their minds, a marginal person vaguely connected with matters of God and good will. Anything remotely religious or somehow well-intentioned can be properly assigned to the pastor.
Because these assignments to pastoral service are made sincerely, I lazily go along with them. It takes effort to refuse, and there's always the danger that the refusal will be interpreted as a rebuff, a betrayal of religion and a calloused disregard for people in need.
It was a favorite theme of C. S. Lewis that only lazy people work hard. By lazily abdicating the essential work of deciding and directing, establishing values and setting goals, other people do it for us; then we find ourselves frantically, at the last minute, trying to satisfy a half dozen different demands on our time, none of which is essential to our vocation, to stave off the disaster of disappointing someone.
But if I vainly crowd my day with conspicuous activity, or let others fill my day with imperious demands, I don't have time to do my proper work, the work to which I have been called, the work of pastor. How can I lead people into the quiet place beside the still waters if I am in perpetual motion? How can I convincingly persuade a person to live by faith and not by works if I have to constantly juggle my schedule to make everything fit into place?
If I'm not busy making my mark in the world and not busy doing what everyone expects me to do, what do I do? What is my proper work? What does it mean to be a pastor? If I had no personal needs to be fulfilled, what would I do? If no one asked me to do anything, what would I do? Three things.
I want to be a pastor who prays. I want to cultivate and deepen my relationship with God. I want all life to be intimate-sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously-with the God who made, directs, and loves me. And I want to waken others to the nature and centrality of prayer. I want to be a person in this community to whom others can come without hesitation, without wondering if it is appropriate, to get direction in prayer and praying. I want to do the original work of being in deepening conversation with the God who reveals himself to me and addresses me by name. I don't want to dispense mimeographed hand-outs that describe God's business; I want to report and witness out of my own experience. I don't want to live as a parasite on the first-hand spiritual life of others, but to be personally involved with all my senses, tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.
I know it takes time to develop a life of prayer: set-aside, disciplined, deliberate time. It isn't accomplished on the run, nor by offering prayers from a pulpit or at a hospital bedside. I know I can't be busy and pray at the same time. I can be active and pray; I can work and pray; but I cannot be busy and pray. I cannot be inwardly rushed, distracted, or dispersed. In order to pray I have to be paying more attention to God than to what people are saying to me; more attention to God than to my clamoring ego. Usually, for that to happen there must be a deliberate withdrawal from the noise of the day, a disciplined detachment from the insatiable self.
I want to be a pastor who preaches. I want to speak...continued here
..one of the Floyd's earliest uses of scripture didn't even make it on record. In 1972, the band was touring The Dark Side of the Moon, working out the kinks in what would become their studio masterpiece. Several of the songs were evolving during this period, but none quite as much as the track that would eventually become "The Great Gig in the Sky". On the album version, Clare Torry's memorable vocals evoke the wails of a death. But in the earliest live incarnations, the song was more about religion as yet another potential cause of madness. At one point, it was given the working title of "Ecclesiastics" {my note: also "mortality sequence"}
As Rick Wright provided some ominous, droning organ chords and flourishes (reminiscent, perhaps, of the organ music often used in church services), tape loops played speeches and sermons by various people--most notably Malcolm Muggeridge, who hosted a well-known religious talk show on the BBC at the time). Recordings of these performances suggest that there were several different speakers used on these tapes, and while the first bits were clearly bible texts, as the song progressed these were overtaken by prayer, commentary, and talk show discussion.
From these, I cannot determine which translation is being used. But here is the text of Ephesians 5:15-20 from the New Revised Standard Version:Sadly, many of these tapes are inaudible or undecipherable on the available audience recordings. One of the clearest comes from the February 20, 1972 show at London's
Rainbow Theatre. Near the beginning, a man states "...we read from St. Paul's letter to the Ephesians chapter 5, verses 15 to 33." He then goes on to read the text, of which can be deciphered "Be us careful then how you conduct yourselves...", "Let the Holy Spirit fill you", "Speak to one another, sing and make music in your hearts to the Lord..." and a few other phrases.
:
Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, singing and making melody to the Lord in your hearts, giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The voice fades out around verse 19 or 20, so while verses 21 through 33 are mentioned, they were not actually heard in the context of the Floyd's performance.
During this reading, a second voice fades in and out with what seems to be a prayer: "Draw near to us in this time of worship... strengthen by thy spirit...".
Shortly thereafter is the passage known as the Lord's Prayer, taken from Matthew 6:9-13 (King James Version):
After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
The lines of the familiar prayer echo on top of one another, until they are all but unrecognizable.
This is replaced by another voice reciting "...courageously carry the torch of progress into the glorious future ... how, in a macabre sort of way, funny that the form that insubordination takes...". This is clearly a sermon or speech of some kind, rather than a biblical passage. This is followed by yet another voice, saying, "I only wish I could show you the numbers of letters which I have received in support of the Holy Father's decision...".
I won't try to interpret all of this too completely, but it is easy to see how the selected scriptures, prayers, and sermons might fit the Floyd's intended statement that religion drives one mad. The passage from Ephesians sets a high standard of morality and conduct, eschewing alcohol and debauchery. Efforts to live up to such a standard could certainly drive one to madness. (Note also the phrase "making the most of the time", which could have been taken directly from the lyrics of "Time".) The prayers are familiar and recited by rote rather than by heartfelt communication with God, and thus become a great cacophony devoid of all meaning.
The sermon consists of flowery language (e.g. "carry the torch of progress into the glorious future") that sounds pretty but amounts to little, and during this it seems that the sermon itself is drowned out by the braying of sheep. The implication is that religious churchgoers are little more than sheep who will be led anywhere the authority figures want them to go (an idea Waters would explore again in Animals). This idea is reinforced by the statement that people have been writing in to support the Church's official position on one matter or another. Thus, religion is portrayed not as an instrument of independent thought, but rather as an institution that exists only to churn out generation after generation of mindless followers.
Weighty stuff indeed. It would be another half decade before Pink Floyd would start making such bold, pointed statements on record. In scrapping all of the religious text in favor of the 'death and dying' instrumental that would find its way to the Dark Side album, the band managed to keep the subject matter more universal, thus broadening the album's appeal. Mike McInnis , link
May 1, 2007 - Why can't church be more like Pink Floyd lyrics? (like it used to be when Jews and Psalms informed us) I know; at their worst, they are pure ..
I
ask the Lord that he gives us all the grace to strip ourselves.” - See
more at:
http://davewainscott.blogspot.com/2013/10/pope-francis-almost-goes-naked-in.html#sthash.ih0T80pt.dpuf
I ask the Lord that he gives us all the grace to strip ourselves.” link - See more at: http://davewainscott.blogspot.com/2013/10/pope-francis-almost-goes-naked-in.html#sthash.ih0T80pt.dpuf
I ask the Lord that he gives us all the grace to strip ourselves.” - Pope Francis "If you pray..then when you pray... pray naked." -Mike Roe (lyics) "Barbara Brown Taylor suggests praying before a mirror, naked..She says this candidly, acknowledging that more readers will follow her suggestion in principle than in practice." -Christianity Today "Eros will have naked bodies: Friendship naked personalities". - C. S.Lewis
Yes, this is real shower curtain for sale, See the rest here.
It seems I am only able to pray naked while in Latin America. (Not that I have tried it much on my home continent, but that's already TMI. Here's a pic to click, I promise it's safe) (:
Being in a 'suicide shower' in Paraguay helps facilitate such prayer times.
So does being locked in the bathroom in Peru.
Those are two stories...with one point:
We're always spiritually naked anyway, so we
might as well pray as if we were literally so.
--------------
b)On a more serious note. here's John Beddington:
When I was in seminary, some friends of mine designed a new t-shirt. They took the surfing phrase, “surf naked,” and changed it just a little. The new seminary t-shirt had the seminary logo, looking very stately and conservative, and then there under it in small, neat letters, it said very simply, “Pray naked.”The t-shirt did its job of getting everyone’s attention, but it also conveyed a deeper reminder: that it is when we are naked, when we are vulnerable, when we are powerless, when we are out of strength and out of options and out of ideas--- that’s when God has room to work. That’s when God moves in and takes over and shakes things up. That’s when God comes closest. That’s when God can begin to shape us, to lead us, and to make us into miracles. link
I'm sure there are some too self-conscious to pray in the restroom, let alone while actively using the toilet. For you, I recommend an experiment with this vintage Jewish prayer from the Babylonian Talmud; noting the delightful double meaning of 'throne':
"Blessed is he who has formed man in wisdom in wisdom and created in him many orifices and cavities. It is fully known before the Throne of Thy glory that if one of them should be improperly opened or one of them closed it would be impossible for a man to stand before Thee." -link
And for those a bit concerned about the validity and veracity of praying naked in any context (including the sex context), do check out the stories of Isaiah,
St Francis and John White..
for starters. Your reading may reasonably be soundtracked by the 77s "not ready for church" (though we once danced to it...clothed...at a mens retreat) song, "Pray Naked"
....clothing optional.ing
First story is posted below; it's an excerpt from a devotional of mine on the U2 (ish) song "Falling at Your Feet" in which I retell the story
Blessed
is he who has formed man in wisdom in wisdom and created in him many
orifices and cavities. Is is fully know before the Throne of Thy glory
that if one of them should be improperly opened or one of them closed it
would be impossible for a man to stand before Thee." - See more at:
http://davewainscott.blogspot.com/2008/05/god-in-bathroom.html#sthash.uVrymzRH.dpufI was once locked in a bathroom shower in Peru, wearing nothing but my shock when I realized I was locked in, and no one was around to help.
......Suffice to say I was tired when Ken Metz picked me up in Lima something like seven hours later than scheduled.
And by the time we got to the bed-and-breakfast, even though I took the time to meet Jeff and Brenda in the kitchen, I agreed with Ken that I should get some rest in the room. He promised they would leave me alone untile they heard from me.
Soon I feared those words.
I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd take a shower, and head downstairs to see what the gang was doing.
I got out of the shower, and noticed the bathroom door had swung shut.
And no matter how hard I tried, I could not pry it open.
I assumed it was just temporarily waterlogged, so I waited a few minutes,
It wouldn't budge.
I could always pry the hinges off..
If they weren't on the others side of the door!
I reached for my phone, to call Ken....and found that for the first time maybe ever, I didn't have my phone in the bathroom.
I reached for my clothes, ....and found that for the first time maybe ever, I didn't have my clothes in the bathroom.
The door was still not moving.
I glanced up at the window, where at least I could call for help...or climb out...in a towel!
The window was far too small to climb out (thank God), and no one was around in the alley (blame; I mean thank God.)
It was then i remembered Ken's kindly promise to leave me alone forever!
(all fall down) how might i be still
I still don't remember how long it took; it felt like hours, and might have even been one, before I tried the door one last time and it opened Houdini-style.
But somehow, and sovereignly, I was given grace in that interim stretch of time to not freak out; but to trust that I had received teh gift of an unscheduled peaceful moment; a quiet time, if you will.
(all fall down) how to navigate (all fall down) how to simply be (all fall down) to know when to wait (all fall down) this plain simplicity (all fall down) in Whom shall i trust (all fall down) how might i be still (all fall down) teach me to surrender (all fall down) not my will, Thy will
And there in my towel, I fell down at Jesus' feet and trusted.
I think I even heard some female voices in the alley, but counterintuitively decided I wouldn't yell them down to recruit help. After all, I hadn't finished my devotions.
Such is often the story of my life: boxed in; trapped...naked and alone with no resources.
In a prison of my own making.
You see, the reason the door had slammed shut is this:
While in the shower, I heard a voice in the hallway outside the door, and maybe even heard a knock. I was a bit embarrassed about being in the shower; and I didn't want anyone to hear me, so I reached out and pushed the door closed.
Thus does my shame operate: it closes doors that are my salvation.
I quickly googled to see if anyone had had a simlilar experience, or if being locked in while naked was just a special gift of God for me. I found it seemed pretty rare (or rarely reported), but was just stuff of fiction. Check out this pic from a hotel in Kenya; it;s how the hotel staff left the door after someone else had been "stuck in a moment {they} can't get out of":
Second story...from Paraguay.
I have many stories from Paraguay..some have been told (here and here).. some probably won't be..
But here's one I glean from.
No, it's NOT the story I am seem telling the local Paraguayan kids in this photo.
I often received a mild shock while in the shower in Paraguay.
No, not the symbolic shock at seeing my unclean self in the shower: a literal shock which the shower gave me.
Sometimes I even encountered an eerie and anonymous blue electrical glow while in the shower there; it almost made me run out into the yard in the suit I got for my birthday, where several parishioners were hanging out ("Ohm hi pastor..good to..uh, see you!").
If you have ever showered in Latin America, you know about the "suicide showers." It would be easy to see them as a satanic strategy..but I came to see them as a Divine Gift. (Besides, satan didn't create Peter Gabriel, though that case has been made . And even if the devil is behind them, who is behind the devil? Ask Martin Luther) I mean, what else causes you to INVOLUNTARILY pray your heart out?
Wil explains:
Some areas of the world have particular things that define them, and although a good idea they are only found in one continent or region and nowhere else. This even applies to electrical appliances and for Central and South America one of the defining bathroom fixtures is the Suicide Shower. I was first told about them by some American friends in London who told me to watch out for a contraption that fits over the shower head and is plugged into the electric mains. Pretty scary until you get used to them, I was told.
The idea behind suicide showers is to provide hot water where the plumbing system does not run to a hot water boiler, which is the norm in most of tropical America. The water is heated inside the shower head and usually provides a constant and dependable stream of hot water. Getting the stream of water right is something of an art that comes with practice, if the water flow is low it will come out boiling hot, too high and it’s only lukewarm. Controlling the flow to the optimum level can take some time and in some hotels there are detailed instructions on the back of the bathroom door.
Of course the really scary thing about suicide showers is that they combine that lethal combination of water and electricity. They need a lot of power in order to work and so are wired straight into the mains; you know they are working because when you turn on the water all the lights go dim. Being South America you can buy one of these things in any hardware store and simply wire it up yourself using a few bits of insulation tape. Some of the bodge jobs I’ve seen have been truly terrifying, like you really feel you are taking your life in your hands. Do I really want to be clean that much? Sometimes when you turn the water up too quickly, an electric blue flash comes out of the side of the shower head and you really feel - this is it. One of the guide books says that they are perfectly safe as long as you don’t fiddle with them and I have only ever experienced a mild shock off one, so this does seem to be true. -Wil
Being shocked/shellshocked in the shower, and hearing a curse word and/or prayer leave my mouth even left me somewhat content that at least I knew who to call on in time of need (:
As our worship leader on the trip found out by leading music nakedly..
I only have one sermon, you know..
And Pastor(a) Alannis once preached it naked, too...
PS: A related "Latin American shower as spiritual formation story I found online:
The second time I showered outside, I asked again, “Are you sure no
one is in the house across the street?” “Yes, we’re sure,” came the
reply; “no one is at home now. And yes, the street is a cul-de-sac.” I
thought of a long-ago camping trip, when I’d chanced to change into my
bathing suit on a grassy hillock, with only a meadow for walls and the
sky for a roof. I felt free, the warm sunshine reflecting off my pale
skin, bathing me in warmth. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Nature” came to
mind: “Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air,
and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes. I become
a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the
Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God.”
Unlike that moment in the grass, I was not standing on bare ground,
but on a wet tile floor. Maybe it was that solid floor that got in the
way, but I didn’t feel any particles of God while standing in that
shower with a looming house across the street. I just felt spooked, and
it wasn’t the spooky feeling of holy dread or wonder, either. If’ I’d
wanted a religious experience, this was not the right place to find one.
The third time I showered, I still didn’t feel like a transparent
eyeball. I did try to relax. It helped to keep my back turned to the
house; that way I could pretend no one might be behind me — certainly no
not-so-transparent eyeballs that might chance to be in the vicinity. It
helped to look very carefully just at the beautiful tropical plants
surrounding two-thirds of the shower. Sunlight poured over them. Insects
buzzed in their branches, and the tanagers still perched there too,
their beady eyes still regarding me curiously. But when I turned further
around, which I had to do to get the conditioner out of my hair, I saw
the house and the street again. I knew full well that if there’d been
the smallest hint of a particle of God nearby (or even just a neighbor,
masquerading as the presence of the divine), I’d grab the nearest towel
and, with the water still on, throw it over myself with all the
convenience of a fig leaf.
After that final shower, as I retreated inside once again, it
occurred to me that religious experiences might be best left for more
fully-dressed occasions.
-Showering in Eden by Emily R Mace
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