"Salvation on the Small Screen": 24 hours of Christian TV/crack

2015 update: Years after this post, I am linking to it for some students, who I assigned to watch a half-hour of Christian TV, and post about their experience in the comments, noting what is the view of Jesus/church /Kingdom being communicated.


He stroked his goatee pensively, and offered:

"Hmmm...well, it's kind of like being on crack."

(note: if you'd rather watch than read this story, click the video below)

He wasn't trying to offend (he did); he was simply responding to the question,

"What do you think of the Gaithers?"

I'll never forget the look on the Gaither fan's face. She assumed he meant something like it was a downer, or a "bad trip."



But what the  goateed-man  meant was:

"That whole culture..the Gaithers and other TBN type music and studio sets..it's just so foreign to me that the only analogy I have for entering such a parallel universe is being on crack."

The TBN experience can indeed be addicting ...in the sense of intriguing.

And some of it can be downright sickening.

(Someone..you'll guess who in a minute,,,,once said,"I reject wholesale the gospel of prosperity, primarily on the grounds that I'm pretty sure it makes Jesus throw up a little but every time he thinks of it").

Some of the memories my wife and I have of catching fleeting glimpses of TBN and other Christian TV include crack-like moments like Tammy Fae Bakker interviewing an armless woman...and asking her how she puts on her makeup; and Robert Tilton (who makes a delightful appearance in this classic Steve Taylor song, "Cash Cow") spouting out "Someone is called to give a million dollars to this ministry;don't think about it, don't pray about it...just call in!"...followed by a long outburst of tongues to confirm the word.

I have a hard time with many of these shows; but I have to dare to believe God is using some (all?) of them, even if the personalities are crazy, sick, fake..

...or  just on crack.

So I was thrilled to hear that my favorite sarcastic Lutheran (who is more tattooed than our guitar player St. Guinness) had been asked to write a book ("Salvation on the Small Screen? 24 Hours of Christian Television"by Nadia Bolz-Weber) about the experience of watching 24 hours of Christian television (in the company of some wonderful hand-picked friends)..TBN, to be exact.

I must have prayed for her the moment I heard she had the job. (:

Buy the book already...here's the link.

Some of my favorite writers and thinkers have blurbed the book in a helpful way; and if you are any kind of regular around these parts, their words alone will sell you the book....read Mike Morell, Doug Pagitt, Craig Detweiler and Becky Garrison's back cover comments, then come on back...





Since we are mostly on the same page around here,  rather than offer an extended review or commentary, I will mostly quote some of the author's  zingers and theological insights.....Often they are the same thing! (Which makes her very much like Jesus...).

As hilarious as the book is (it exceeded even my high expectations here), I found it not only appropriately respectful (some will disagree...maybe even the author!),  but hugely helpful in many "serious" ways...

...largely because of the "crack factor." One of Nadia's friends, as they watched "Breakthrough with Rod Parsley, commented:


"I don't even know if I live in the same universe as this guy."


First of all, on the whole theme of "Kind of like being on crack/another planet" being a learning point, as is any cross-cultural immersion:

"My full immersion into the world of TBN and a Christianity that can
seem it's from another planet entirely, rather than strengthening my confidence
in the sufficiency of my own tradition, has actually weakened it. I see the
holes.

I hope this shift continues for me because it feels like for so very
long the sects and denominations within the church (including my own) have spent so much energy defending their theological, doctrinal and liturgical
purity that they have been unable to see what it is we actually have to
offer one another..

..(Though for the record, I still think Paula White is a nut
job)."


(p.104)

Nadia is razor-sharp and spot-on in calling out and countering Paula White's outrageousness in a hilarious section reminiscent of Chris Seay's taking on of Rev. Bucco (see "Pastor sends Sodomites to island; gets stoned"):

"Two can play at this game,my prooftexting sister."(p.14)

But note the prooftexter is a sister.
Who is my neighbor, anyway?

"I, too live in a lavish lifestyle funded by the giving of the faithful, and this realization is discomforting. It is undoubtedly the plank in my own eye" (p.67)

It is her humility and wit that grant her authority to note out loud and in public things any of us have noted privately:

"though I'm no medical expert...(John Hagee) may possibly be bloated on his own hate(p.35)"

"Rod Parsley's voice is undeniably 'Southern TV preacher,' but it sounds so deeply affected that it's like he's actually making fun of himself."(39)

"(items for sale) the likes of which Liberace would find gaudy" (99)

"(One preacher's) particular level of clean-cuteness makes Pat Boone look like Sid Vicious"
(p. 107).


And how could you not note the strikingly high percentage of Old Testament references, and almost nonexistent mentions of the name of Jesus (!) ..except as a "talisman"..in the 24 hours so meticulously journaled and recorded? That call-in prayer lines were sometimes not available?

How is  that"The 700 Club" ends in the same way as "Romper Room"? (that section alone is worth the price of the book).


All pastors of churches larger than 100 people or 22 pews (recognize the reference?) have (hopefully) struggled with the false intimacy of knowing their flock, and vice versa. I have written on that here. ..But watch this:

"What disturbs me about this so-called love between Joyce Meyer and her TV
viewers is this is not pastoral care. You can become a
ministry partner and give Joyce Meyer your entire measley pension, and
she's still not showing up with a casserole when your mother dies."
(28)

Any readers here will likely agree that it's not about title and status... but one still has to ask
about all these folk introduced a "Dr." on TBN.....with honorary doctorates from Oral Roberts University, or less.

"I find myself getting a tad indignant about people taking the title 'pastor' much less 'bishop' with all the consideration and credentialing one might use choosing a chat room screen name." (12)

And that it's not about simply saying the Name. But why did it take 60 Minutes and a Sarcastic Lutheran to add things up?:

"If reference to Christ, even in passing, is the standard for calling something Christian, than I'm not certain someone the likes of Joel Osteen or Paula White or John Hagee would qualify."(82)

"So why is the art of Thomas Kincaid...in so many evangelical homes? Is it simply due to the fact that he signs his paintings with John 3:16? If so, you have to give it to him, because regardless of how aesthetically questionable it may be, there is an implied righteousness to a Thomas Kincaid painting, and that righteousness is highly marketable.

"I'm fairly certain that the descriptor 'Christian' when applied to music and TV shows is not an indicator of theological content but instead points to what is absent:profanity, homosexuals, liberals, uncertainty--basically anything that would challenge a particular worldview."


I have often said (just kidding, but I will now) that God loves us so much as the church that he has given us four categories of people and things to unconditionally learn from, and glean God-insights from:







profanity,





homosexuals,





"liberals,"





uncertainty.








At one point, a Christian celebrity "sits on a garish sofa talking about how Jesus is better than nightclubs, which is, of course, a false dichotomy. I believe in Jesus and nightclubs,or even Jesus in nightclubs, but that's another story" (133)

The unfortunate fact that that indeed is "another story" altogether for Christian television...and evangelicalism in general...is a big story indeed.

If you can't amen that, you are on the wrong blog....and you won't like the book, either.





So buy it already.



Finally, I must say Bolz-Weber's passing insights about simulacra (12, 56), which at first glance appear as easy jokes....are incredibly helpful. This is territory that Ian Robertson picks up regarding U2's intentionally ironic and subversive (ahhhh,big difference) use of this method (Chapter 6 in "U2 and Philosophy").

But the catch is TBN is not Zoo Tv.

Or is it?


"Do these folks really believe what they are saying?..If (not), then the question becomes: Is that sort of fragmentation of the self possible to maintain? Can we really project a false self for so long
without psychically necessitating an accommodation in the form of assimilation? Wouldn't one, in order to survive, have to start believing it?

Therefore, I think they believe it because they don't believe it and the only way to maintain not believing it is to believe it.

Simple enough."

(p.135)








Indeed.





Simply profound as well.





Funny!





And scary..





What's on T.V?

Who's on crack?
--
2015 update: Years after this post, I am linking to it for some students, who I assigned to watch a half-hour of Christian TV, and post about their experience in the comments, noting what is the view of Jesus/church/Kingdom  being communicated.