Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Prove to. St. (?) Frank Zappa...from the church...that God isn't dumb

Prove to St. Frank...from the church...that God isn't dumb


Why are Christians apparently so pleased to announce that Frank Zappa is in hell..
(See: Frank Zappa -The Man Without God )

He may be... I dunno...neither do you.

My Boss does.

If he is, i can't be glad about it.

Besides, he was a great theologian.

No secret he had problems with organized religion.

.we all should..

and he often had a point...

Yes, he was often dirty, blaspemous...and often brilliant, often prophetic..a mixed bag, a "Mensch with a dirty mind" as Rolling Stone once described him.

But maybe you are, too.

He did write and perform one of my favorite worship songs. It is an instrumental, designed to express the longing of a muiscian jailed for crearting music in a land where music is illegal...the longing is tangible as "Joe" from his cell dreams/imagines a guitar solo...Haven't found the classic version (1979 studio version from the Joes Garage CD....ironically, in part, a spoof on Scientology and defense of God and creativity: "Eventually it was discovered that God did not want us to be all the same... This was Bad News For the Governments of The World,As it seemed contrary to the doctrine of Portion Controlled Servings"
)online yet, but here's a bit more blloging on it. It's called:

"Watermelon in Easter Hay"


Anyway, and a later live version is viewable right here, though it nowhere approaches the tear-inducing original:

Anyway, In one song, he concludes ...logically (and ironically from the evidence Jesus himself said folks should consider...that is, Christians) , albeit incorrectly... that since we act dumb, God must be too.

In this, he would appreciate St Brenann Manning:
"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny him with their life style. This is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

Remember reading the below that at least one tongue is always in Zappa's cheek, though he was dead serious about his view of God/Christians....based on "Christian" evidence. Yes, I know there are faulty arguments in the lyric...but follow it:

Whoever we are
Wherever we're from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
It's gonna take a lot more
Than tryin' to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether

They call it the earth
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
'cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near 'n far
Dumb all over,
Black 'n white
People, we is not wrapped tight

Nerds on the left
Nerds on the right
Religious fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin' the bible
Tells the story
Makes the details
Sound real gory
'bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Don't believe in the book
We got over here

You can't run a race
Without no feet
'n pretty soon
There won't be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it won't blow up
?n disappear
It'll just look ugly
For a thousand years...)

You can't run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state

To arms! to arms!
Hooray! that's great
Two legs ain't bad
Unless there's a crate
They ship the parts
To mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (get down!)
Not his, not hers, (but what the hey? )
The good book says:
("it gotta be that way!")
But their book says:
"revenge the crusades...
With whips 'n chains
'n hand grenades..."
Two arms' two arms?
Have another and another
Our God says:
"there ain't no other!"
Our God says
"it's all okay!"
Our God says
"this is the way!"

It says in the book:
"burn 'n destroy...
?n repent, 'n redeem
?n revenge, 'n deploy
'n rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
'cause they don't go for what's in the book
'n that makes 'em bad
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb
To poof them out of existence
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise our god
("cause he can really take care of business!")

And when his humble TV servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It's okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
'cause if we don't do it,
We ain't gwine up to hebbin!
(depending on which book you're using at the
Time...can't use theirs... it don't work's all lies...gotta use mine...)
Ain't that right?
That's what they say
Every night...
Every day...
Hey, we can't really be dumb
If we're just following God's orders
Hey, let's get serious...
God knows what He's doin'
He wrote this book here
An? the book says:
He made us all to be just like him,"
If we're dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(an' maybe even a little ugly on the side)

Hey, someone even included Zappa's book in his list of favorite "Christian" books!

Maybe he's not in hell after all.


On a hunch, I googled the phrase "St. Frank Zappa" to see if anyone had ever dared to utter that thought.

Check it out, only 152 times, and he even gets a liturgical day named after him.

God ain't dumb.

But I am afraid to search for "Pastor Frank Zappa."

That's your job.

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