"It was my Christian duty to point out anything I thought someone was doing wrong.."

Great post by Jenny Rae Armstrong:

Love Should Never Include Disclaimers: Why Christians Need to Stop Trying to “Fix” People :

There was a time when I thought it was my Christian duty to point out anything I thought someone was doing wrong.

I called out teachers for being too hard on other kids.

If the pastor said something I disagreed with in a sermon, I informed him of it afterward.

I made sure people on the worship team knew they kept going flat when they hit that G.

I tried to talk my friends, Christian and otherwise, out of committing sins.

Oh, I wasn’t mean about it. I was truly concerned, and wanted to help. And when you’re a perfectionistic eldest child in your late teens and early twenties, I guess that’s what help looks like. Because doesn’t everyone want to know how to be more perfect? And isn’t it my responsibility to make sure they know how?

I don’t think I’m the only Christian who has struggled with this. We have a behavior management problem. Don’t get me wrong: self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and we are called to make wise, God-honoring choices. But when we try to manage others’ behavior? That leads to all sorts of heartache and trouble.

Here’s why.

First of all, none of us really know what another person is going through. We’re all in process, and none of us are perfect yet. I remember hearing Brennan Manning speak years ago. He pointed out that that runaway teen turning tricks on the street, who falls asleep with the name of Jesus on his lips, may in fact have made a lot more spiritual progress than a milktoast Christian who came from a happy home.

It’s like Paul Hiebert’s evangelism paradigm, bounded sets vs. centered sets. Maybe one person seems closer to Christ than another, but what is their trajectory? Are they moving toward Christ or away from him? Are they stagnant and complacent?

We should be helping people move toward Christ, not shoving them into the position we think they should inhabit.

Second, it’s not our job to change, convict, or transform people. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job.

I think parents can be  CONTINUED HERE

Love Should Never Include Disclaimers: Why Christians Need to Stop Trying to “Fix” People

Posted May 9 2014 by Jenny Rae Armstrong with 11 Comments

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There was a time when I thought it was my Christian duty to point out anything I thought someone was doing wrong.
I called out teachers for being too hard on other kids.
If the pastor said something I disagreed with in a sermon, I informed him of it afterward.
I made sure people on the worship team knew they kept going flat when they hit that G.
I tried to talk my friends, Christian and otherwise, out of committing sins.
Oh, I wasn’t mean about it. I was truly concerned, and wanted to help. And when you’re a perfectionistic eldest child in your late teens and early twenties, I guess that’s what help looks like. Because doesn’t everyone want to know how to be more perfect? And isn’t it my responsibility to make sure they know how?
Related: Christianity Means Not Knowing All the Answers
I don’t think I’m the only Christian who has struggled with this. We have a behavior management problem. Don’t get me wrong: self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and we are called to make wise, God-honoring choices. But when we try to manage others’ behavior? That leads to all sorts of heartache and trouble.
Here’s why.
First of all, none of us really know what another person is going through. We’re all in process, and none of us are perfect yet. I remember hearing Brennan Manning speak years ago. He pointed out that that runaway teen turning tricks on the street, who falls asleep with the name of Jesus on his lips, may in fact have made a lot more spiritual progress than a milktoast Christian who came from a happy home.
It’s like Paul Hiebert’s evangelism paradigm, bounded sets vs. centered sets. Maybe one person seems closer to Christ than another, but what is their trajectory? Are they moving toward Christ or away from him? Are they stagnant and complacent?

We should be helping people move toward Christ, not shoving them into the position we think they should inhabit.
Second, it’s not our job to change, convict, or transform people. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job.
I think parents can b

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