cameroon, africa. 28 days away.
eek
what if we don't get there?what if our flight goes wrong?
what if we get lost?
what if we lose our luggage?
what if i forget my Bible?
what if i don't know any verses?
what if i can't back up what i say?
what if i screw it up?
what if no one understands what i'm saying?
what if i make a fool of myself?
*even worse..what if i make a fool of God?
what if i stumble over my words?
what if i go blank?
what if i say something offensive or do something offensive?
what if He doesn't show up in me?
what if He leaves me there standing by myself? high and dry.
what if i doubt too much?
what if i get sick?
what if things go wrong?
what if i can't fix it?
what if i can't fix myself?
what if i can't fix them?
am i supposed to fix them? do they need to be fixed? is it supposed to be all about them or is there something about ME that i need to focus on first? or even throughout the entire time? or even still long after i get back?
:sigh:
i don't understand why God would pick me. Laura Marie Moorehead. He would pick ME!! out of everyone He could have picked. He chose me. i'm the youngest of the group. the one that my leader, halfway through the semester, said:
"i didn't know you were a freshman. i didn't know you were that young. i didn't want anyone that young on this team....how did i let you on this team???"
i mean...what is that supposed to mean? did chinaka just screw up when he sent the acceptance letters to the team or did God just block my age and status out of chinaka's mind? was i a mistake to be on this team?
i'm not strong enough.
there is no way i can do this.
hebrews 11:6 "and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him"
what if i lose my faith? what if i can't find it again? what if i'm challenged so much that i just give up? i don't want to give up! i don't want to lose it!
give me strength.
Laura Moorehead
http://www.myspace.com/gangstaxlikexwhat
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Hey, thanks for engaging the conversation!