Surfing in the Kingdom is like this...

Cash Cow

The Cash Cow
Steve Taylor

It was a morning just like any other morning
In the Sinai desert, 1200 B.C.
It glistened, it glowed, it rose from the gold of the children of Israel
...and most of the adults
The cash cow!
The golden cash cow had a body like the great cows of ancient Egypt
And a face like the face of Robert Tilton
...without the horns
And through the centuries is has roamed the earth
Like a ravenous bovine
Seeking whom it may.... lick
Cash cow!
Cash cow!
From the valley of the shadow of the

outlet mall
To customized petwear boutique
From the trailer of the fry chef
To the palace of the sheik
The cash cow lurks
The cash cow lurks
The cash cow lurks
HA HA HA HA....
Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?
Aaa-ooooooo
Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?
Aaa-aaa-aaa-ooooooo
I was in love and I needed the money
And then I needed more money
I was filthy rich and all I wanted was love
...and a little more money
Woe to you, proud mortal
Secure in your modest digs
You think you're immune?
You, who couldn't finger said cow in a police line-up with the three little pigs!
Cash cow!
Master of disguises!
Who's gonna change shape at will?
Who's the eye on the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill?
Who loves power lunchin' from Spago to Sizzler?
Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?
Aaa-ooooooo
Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?
Aaa-aaa-aaa-ooooooo
Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?
Aaa-aaa-aaa-ooooooo
Cash cow comin' to get ya
Why?
Cuz you think this is stupid, don't you?
The cash cow will not be mocked!
The cash cow's planning a coup!
The cash cow chews cud bigger than you!
Woe, woe, woe to you
Who blow off this warning
Perhaps you've already been licked
I, too, was hypnotized
By those big cow eyes
The last time I uttered those three little words
"I deserve better!"
-Steve Taylor

Steve Taylor comments About The Song

From Squintlets, "The Lament..." promotional CD for the Squint album, 1993:

The idea behind Cash Cow was that nobody would get off the hook. All of us are just one step away from sucking on the udder of the cash cow. [laughter] It's just like this love of money is something that is the monkey on all of our backs and it never goes away, so that's why I tried to paint the picture of the cash cow's coming to get you.

From Cornerstone 1994 Press Conference, Bushnell, IL, Shari Lloyd, The Phantom Tollbooth, July 2nd, 1994:

I talked to a guy in Florida on the phone about a month ago, and he was a really great guy, he was probably in his late-20s, he was real into music and everything like that. [The] thing about naming Robert Tilton really bothered him. His heart was right, he just honestly, it just bugged him, and he wanted to know why I would do that, so I lead him through the reasons.

There are definitely times where I probably crossed the line--I don't regret that one. He asked me if I actually thought Robert Tilton was the devil, and I-- [audience laughs]

...

It's also like, at a certain point, these people--and it has to do with the thing with "Colour Code" and all that stuff, too--at a certain point these people go beyond where they sin and people confront them on it. It then becomes like it's in the public arena, and there can be honest differences of opinion on this, but my opinion on this is their sin is in the public domain, public arena, and it should be addressed publically. I think that people like that have such a profoundly bad effect on how people perceive Christianity that it's important to sometimes go right for the horns. [audience applauds]

LINK

TV Time

Let me be straight with you: I am not straight

...love and sex and faith and fear
And all the things that keep us here
In the mysterious distance..
-the irish prophets



-----------------



Though I am sure some Pharisee types have wondered about my:

• friendship with a Hollywood actor with AIDS,
• my infamous past,
• a certain board I serve on
• or all I am about to say....

I have not had homosexual temptations..
(My temptations lie elsewhere: eh, Rev. Clancey? Read my racy testmonies entitled "From Butts to Bibles..That's Elevation!" and "God, beach and breasts")


..though, obviously, Jesus did while on earth.

(if that caused you to stumble, play my podcast on "Jesus, A Tempted Apostle" here, and

stumble more).

Gee, I am not as much like Jesus as I thought I was!(:

Why are evangelicals so obsexxed with sexuality; and homosexuality, in particular?
I have asked that elsewhere( "Hebrew and Celts Help Our Sexy and Violent Prayers " and

"I stole your sheep", for starters..

My friend St. Derek...hear his wonderful sermon/testimony by clicking his name under "posts" in this cute li'l podcast box
...was brave enough to think aloud online about:

Jason & deMarco: Two Christian men, gay partners, who love each other and love God...and they are Christian singers. They also released an independent film recently. Here is the trailer clip...

The topic of homosexuality isn't going away. It is here with us for at least the next decade so what is the church to do about it? Kids are feeling unaccepted and unloved by the church. More and more we are going to lose them because we are going to treat them like they are not human and all in the name of Jesus. I am starting to question, where is the grace? Where in the bible does it say that homosexuality is the worst sin imaginable, aren't all sins equal? I have a hard time standing against people like Jason and deMarco who are trying to spread God's love to a group of people in our society that is usually beaten up by the church. link

Richard Mouw, no stranger to controversy ("A Modest Defense of Polygamy"...don't judge it by the title, read it here), writes:

We fallen creatures do not like to admit our awareness of our abnormality, so we invent vocabularies to disguise it. Take our labeling system for designating sexual orientations: some people are "gay," we say, and others are "straight." Each of these labels is deceptive. The word gay gives the impression that practicing homosexuals are enjoying a happy, carefree way of life. But that is hardly the way it is in a time {book written in 1992} when the AIDs crisis
has brought fear and pain and grief into the lives of so many homosexual persons.

Nor is straight a very helpful term. I am not a homosexual--but neither do I feel very 'straight' as a human being. I am a fallen creature--bent, broken, crooked. This bentness affects all my life, including my sexuality.

Homosexuals are not necessarily gay. And the rest of us are not necessarily staright. We are all broken and crooked people. Christians should not be embarrased to admt this. Most of us have not yet been transformed into fully 'normal' people, but we are on our way to normalcy...In the meantime, we know what to do with our sexual brokenness. We go to the cross and plead for mercy and healing. This experience gives us the message that we can present to other sexual sinners: join us at the cross!
(Richard Mouw, "Uncommon Decency: Christian Civility in an Uncihttp://tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/tallskinnykiwi/images/center-set.jpgvil World," p. 84)

"Centered set" theory has been hugely helpful for many as we ponder and process the "unbounded" and unstraight nature of categories.




rigorous wrestling with the articles here)
And a more inclusive semantic domain for "sexuality: will help as well. Consider Rob Bell's sweeping (and spot-on) definition in "Sex God":

"Our sexuality is all the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God." (42)

Having heard that, dovetail it with this:


"Sex is never an emergency." ( sage advice from a Jewish doctor (Jerome Levin, p. 164)

I am broken.

If you are not, I pray you pick up the courage in my friend Russell Willingham's line: you need "the courage to be broken," ( p.120 of the best book on sexual addiction that Fran Rollins has not read yet: "Breaking

Free")

"We must grasp our fundamental brokenness," Russell recommends (p. 123), "and stop pretending we are anything else."

I strive to reconnect.
I am not gay, but I am not
s
t
r
a
i
g
h

t.

Are you?


"There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much a spiritual mystery as a physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.' Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever - the kind of sex that can never 'become one.' ....In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for 'becoming one' with another." (1 Cor 6, The Message Bible)

Colbert-Huckabee

hat tip Beth

"You Have Been Chosen.....Leadfoot"

I keep the "Little Green Man" positoned on my dashboard at just the right angle and wedge, so that if I drive too recklessly, he falls off.

Since his infamous line in the "Toy Story" movie is "You have been chosen"..

...I am thus reminded that as a "chosen" person, I should be driving sanely.

There's a longer story, and a deeper theological underpinning to all this; but you get the point.

Colossians 3.12: "As God's chosen, clothe yourselves....with patience."

Besides,I am a recovering Leadfoot. Here's that story; it's almost as embarrassing as the fact that I carry a toy green mascot in my car:

A man I know well had just gotten in a classic "first fight" with his wife. He did something uncharacteristic of him: He jumped in his car, and began speeding (literally) away from the situation.
Because he was a believer, he at least had the sense to pray; even as in his fast car he was contradicting his belief. But he prayed, for some reason this prayer; "Lord, I really need to hear from you!"
At that precise moment, a moment he was to remember the rest of his life, the man was strangely prompted to turn on the car radio. Immediately, a voice came over the radio:"Hey Leadfoot! Turn around, go back to your wife, and tell her you’re sorry!"Let me tell you, gentle reader; When that happened to me….
…I turned around, went back to my wife, and told her I was sorry!
And it doesn’t change my theology of "God was speaking audibly and directly to me" at all to reveal the way God spoke. At the exact moment I was speeding away from home, and shot up that prayer while turning the dial on, a Christian disc jockey who was broadcasting live felt prompted to say:
"Hey Leadfoot! Turn around, go back to your wife, and tell her you’re sorry!" link

PS Here's another theological application Jon found in the same scene. It will preach. Maybe my green guy should be a mascot on the Sunday morning altar as well:

In the scene where Buzz jumps into the Claw game thinking it to be a space ship,
I see a lesson for all Christians. I see the aliens as being symbolic of many
Christians today. We sit in our church, safe and secure, in our beliefs (The
claw decides who will stay and who will go, "I go to a better place"). When a
stranger comes into our churches we react we curiosity (A stranger, from the
outside). The aliens expect Buzz to accept their beliefs without question, when
Buzz is chosen by the Claw, they exclaim "you have been chosen".
How often
do we as Christians sit in our churches, waiting for someone from the outside to
come in. When they do, how often do we expect them to accept our beliefs,
traditions, and practises without question. Do we just try to turn them into
another clone of us looking, dressing, behaving the same that every other person
in our churches does link

.

"Worship is not music"

As recently as twenty five years ago, nobody would've have understood the phrase "worship" as meaning....obviously!..

music.

But the whole world has changed. Now it is the norm for the word worship to equate to "the songs we sing before the sermon and the other stuff."

And everyone knows a "worship leader" is the music leader.
No one would have defined it that way for the last ..uh, several thousand years.

Que paso?
Whatup with that?
Who switched the price tags?



That is no small shift.

Don't hear what I'm not saying. I love to worship via music. But worship..to begin with Romans 12:2...is far bigger and broader.

Here are some worthy articles on this phenomenon:
"worship is not music"

Language matters.