Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Lindsay, Britney and Amy go into a bar ...

In the strip joints, in the church
On a desperate lost child search
On the airplanes and the backroads and the rails
On the blacktops, on the beach
Down a sewer and up a creek
In the penthouses, the gulags and the jails
To the criminal with no one left to con
To the movie star whose day has come and gone

..Pray where you are.
-Lost Dogs, "Pray Where You Are"

Evolutionists, creationists, perverts, slum lords
Dead-beats, athletes, Protestants and Catholics
Housewives, neophytes, pro-choice, pro-life
Misogynists, monogamists, philanthropists, blacks and whites

Police, obese, lawyers, and government
Sex offenders, tax collectors, war vets, rejects
Atheists, Scientists, racists, sadists
Photographers, biographers, artists, pornographers

Gays and lesbians, demagogues and thespians
The disabled, preachers, doctors and teachers
Meat eaters, wife beaters, judges and juries
Long hair, no hair, everybody everywhere!
...Breathe deep
Breathe deep the breath of God.
-Lost Dogs, "Breathe Deep"

I don't really want or need to see Taylor Swift nude.

And I don't usually pray naked...at least in church.

I do admit I like provocative titles and catchphrases in my posts.

But when I installed the Feedjit on this blog (see "Who just surfed on in?" on the right hand sidebar), so one can now see what page folks were on last that linked them here...

I was unprepared for how many people would be finding me by a google search for "Taylor Swift nude" (based on this post), "God, beach and breasts," or or "xxx" (based on my posts about XXX Church: The #1 Christian Porn Site), etc.

So far I don't think anyone has taken the "Naked picture of Dave Wainscott" bait ! (:


I do meet U2 fans, physics professors, and emerging/missional thinkers who google something up my alley; or find me via a friend's link....usually something I mentioned with keywords like "missional," "epistemology", "holy profanity" etc...

For some reason my postings on "temple tantrum" are hugely popular.
You would be amazed...or not...at how many folks search for the same Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue that I quoted Rev. Tschetter about.
I almost became manager of The Whigs when no one else was posting their lyrics.
And eveybody seems to be after the viral video of the emergency plane landing on the beach!

But today's "FROM THE HIVE" column in the Fresno Bee gave me an idea/temptation I can't resist. Ryan T will tease me about this.

But he sure will get a kick out of the results I get by simply quoting the column below(:

I am not after numbers, sex, our blogstardom...
(at least on a good day!!) ...I just am fascinated by the web links and pop culture.

And I wouldn't mind if someone got here looking for porn and found something more Holy Spirited.

Or at least learned to pay where they are.

Here is the article:

Lindsay, Britney and Amy go into a bar ...

Here's a question to ponder. What is it that bloggers and organized crime killers have in common? They are both judged by the number of hits they can accumulate.

It is an interesting concept. If a person writes for a newspaper, they know how many papers are sold. But there is little way to tell if the person who read the newspaper ever stopped on that reporter’s story.

The Internet answers that question in the minds of many. The more people who read the blog, as measured by hits and comments, the better. But, can the number of blog hits be artificially manufactured?

Let’s say I write about Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse all going into a bar. That scenario might not be surprising. But it would get attention from all the Lindsay, Britney and Amy fans out there surfing the Web.

A blog about John McCain and Barack Obama going to see a performance of “Phantom of the Opera” starring Gerard Butler and Julia Roberts followed by dinner at the Legends Diner where they are served by Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe opens up all kinds of possibilities.

It could be as simple as just listing words that sound dirty. My favorite meal is a leg, thigh and breast from KFC. It is fun to eat that meal while watching “Wife Swap” and old reruns of “Laugh-In” staring Dick Martin or a Travel Channel documentary about Intercourse, Pa.

Would a blog with mentions of Pamela Anderson, Madonna, Indiana Jones, Batman, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, Will Smith, Oprah, Tom Cruise, Dr. Phil, Tyra, the cast of “High School Musical,” child pornography, Hilary Clinton, “Jericho,” The Beatles, Kirk Cobain, Playboy, McDonald’s, Coke, Pepsi, Martha Stewart, Gordon Ramsay, Barry Bonds, the Rolling Stones and WWE get more attention?

That would mean just a list of TV shows such as “Heroes,” “Lost,” “House,” “24,” “Bones,” “Reba,” “The Simpsons,” “Scrubs” and “Caveman” would get more hits than a blog about “Transformers,” “The 300,” “Epic Movie,” “Bee Movie,” “Harry Potter,” “Hairspray,’ “Cars,” “Iron Man,” “The Dark Knight” and “Sex and the City.” Thank you Google for those lists. MapQuest was not as handy.

So, the best thing to do is when you see a blog that mentions “American Idol,” “Survivor,” Tom Hanks, silk underwear, Rush Limbaugh, NASCAR, NBA, NFL, Major League Baseball, women’s beach volleyball, “The Wizard of Oz,” Disneyland, Kayne West, melons, Democrats, Republicans, Jesus or Tiger Woods, just know there could be some sly effort to see just how many hits such a blog could get.

Welcome new readers...wife swappers even!


  1. brilliant brilliant brilliant, you are my blog hero for sure...

    I wonder if I can piggy back on all the hit this gets, um, www.theoverdubs.com, anyone?

  2. This will do it for people searching "best damn band in the world" in search engines.
    Watch the stats;

    "The Overdubs are the best damn band in the world, and their lead singer is a stud"

  3. You should try posting a picture of Lorenzo Lamas. Apparently a lot of people search for those classic pics.


Hey, thanks for engaging the conversation!